


Overshadow

by themuslimbarbie



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Zutara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-29
Updated: 2009-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-09 03:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/450913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themuslimbarbie/pseuds/themuslimbarbie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their happiness doesn't matter, because it's not about him or her – it's about everyone else. It always has been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Overshadow

i. [ **to hang heavily over** ] ****

His fingers brush against hers and he feels a spark. Not an _I-just-got-shot-by-lightening-I-can’t-move_ kind of spark, but a _this-tingles-in-the-right-type-of-way-like-out-of-a-cheesy-romance-reading-scroll_ kind of spark. The kind that guys don’t really have because, in all honesty, it’s just crap that’s made up. At least it’s supposed to be. Which is why he is utterly confused when he feels it while handing Katara (of all people!) her cup of tea.

He thinks she feels it to, because when his eyes meet hers he can see the confusion swirling in the pools of blue. It only lasts for a second though and then the confusion is swallowed by so many other emotions – _pityhopefearpainangerenvymisery_ – and they all blend together so quickly that Zuko almost starts to feel dizzy. He blinks, but it only takes that moment for everything to fade and her feelings are clear from her eyes, which doesn’t make sense because he can’t imagine why Katara would feel _guilty_.

There’s a crash behind them, breaking him from his trance. He looks back to see Sokka screaming something from behind what he thinks is a painting canvas. They gather around the said “artist” to “admire” his “memory-in-the-making” and by the time Zuko remembers to look back up, Katara is long gone.

He finally finds her through the window, outside and making her way to Aang and suddenly he forgets how to breathe. He can almost understand her guilt, because he thinks that in that very moment, he might just almost hate her.

But he can’t understand why.

 

ii. [ **to darken or obscure** ]

It only takes two weeks for it to happen.

What exactly _it_ is, Zuko isn’t sure, because nothing really happens. At least nothing world changing (okay, so it’s not even close to being slightly significant). She wraps her arms around him (slowly and gently, as if she’s afraid of hurting his wound, even though he insists that he’s fine) before she leaves. It isn’t the first hug she’s given him and he knows it won’t be the last, so he doesn’t understand why her _I’ll-miss-you_ makes his heart skip a beat or why her _goodbye_ makes him feel like he’s drowning.

But what he can’t wrap his head around – even after she leaves the Fire Nation to return to her own land – is why this is happening with _Katara_. So what if she is the only girl that he’s ever met that can both match his temper and be stubborn enough to not leave his side, even when he says he doesn’t want anyone (even though he secretly does)? It shouldn’t matter that she’s the only person he has ever spoken to about his mother, nor that he can’t ever imagine a world without her (and has a scar on his chest to prove it). And he really shouldn’t be noticing that her eyes are the exact same shade of blue as the noon sky (when the sun is at its peak) or that she has suddenly begun to fill out in all the right places and that she actually doesn’t resemble a peasant. (Not at all.)

None of it _should_ matter, because he has a loyal (enough so to stand up to _Azula_ ) girlfriend and because she is dating his best-friend-slash-the- _Avatar_ , and _that_ should take precedence over anything else.

So Zuko hides his confusion in the depths of his mind and lets everything else overshadow it, praying to Agni that these thoughts of Katara will quickly fade.

 

iii. [ **to shelter or protect** ]

He thinks that he really needs to stop hoping that things will go the way he wants them to, because they never do. (Sometimes he wonders if the Spirits conspire against him.)

He has her back up against the wall, his hands on either side of her, trapping her there. Not that she minds, because she is too preoccupied. Her arms are wrapping around his neck, her fingers are pulling at his hair, her lips are fighting against his. Nothing else seems to matter, because all they see is in that moment is every last bit of tension, emotion, _longing_ built up over the past two years. And the temptation is suddenly too much to resist.

His hands are slipping under her tunic and _she isn’t stopping him_.

She’s in the process of biting his lower lip when the handle on the door shakes. They freeze when Aang knocks and calls out to Katara from the other side. Her voice is slightly shaky and her breath is short when she answers him, but the young Avatar doesn’t seem to notice, instead telling her that he will be waiting for her in the garden. They stand frozen, neither daring to breathe – much less _move_ – until Aang’s steps have faded away.

Zuko isn’t sure which of them moves first, but they are both suddenly as far away from the other as they can be. She straightens her tunic and her head is bowed as she mumbles something to him. He doesn’t hear it, but he doesn’t have to, because he already knows what she’s saying – that they can’t do this – and he nods, because he knows she’s right.

Katara slips out the door first and as he watches her, Zuko no longer has any doubt that the Spirits are against him, and he knows they can never be. Because it’s not about him or her – it’s about everyone else.

It always has been.

 

iv. [ **to be more important by comparison** ]

The news spreads quicker than he expected. It only takes until sunset for Mai to casually mention the gossip she’s overheard from the other noblewomen that day. He pretends like he isn’t interested and her words aren’t twisting his stomach, which they really shouldn’t be, because he already knows. Katara’s already written to him, warning him.

_I’m going to marry Aang._

There’s more her letter than that – Katara always feels the needs to explain every detail – but he doesn’t need more than that. Because that’s all that really matters in this world that they are living in – that she belongs to someone that isn’t him. That will never be him. Can never be him.

Mai shrugs as she speaks, her voice never once breaking its monotone, but he still sees the bitterness in her eyes, wondering when it will be her turn. Zuko nods in acknowledgement and continues eating his rice, trying to ignore the weight of the ring in his pocket and what he knows he will have to do tonight.

 

v. [ **to cover with darkness** ]

They sleep together.

They were together and alone, arguing about something or other. The next thing he knows their clothes are sprawled over the floor and she is intertwined with him. And later, when she lays curled up against his chest, he doesn’t want to think about leaving her the next morning.

 

vi. [ **for example, clouds overshadowing the sun** ]

Katara saves him the trouble.

It doesn’t surprise him, because she’s always been too selfless for her own good; putting the burden on herself so that others will not have to bare it. So when he wakes up to find her and all her belongings gone, he can’t bring himself to hate her for it. Instead, he dresses as quickly as he can and slips out the doors and into his own chambers. Because it’s not about him or her – it’s about everyone else. Always has been.

It doesn’t matter how much they’ve already given up or how they had to leave the only home they ever knew for everyone else’s sake. It’s is just one more thing they have to sacrifice, and it doesn’t even matter that they’ve already lost everything they’ve considered to be precious. Their happiness doesn’t matter, because it’s about keeping the status quo and keeping everyone else happy.

Because it’s not about him or her – it’s about everyone else. Always has been.

It always will be.


End file.
